Yesterday was an amazing day at work. Most people find my line of work a little odd, but I love it.  I work with active drug users and provide them with clean syringes so they don't get infected with HIV or Hepatitis. 

It was  magical day on the Rock when i put the first butterfly needle into that young man to test him for Hep C.  He looked scared out of his mind because I was a little too eager to test him. he was my first and I told him that proudly. I guess that would have freaked me out too if someone informed me that this will be the first time someone is drawing blood from a drug user.  i could have tested three people that day but my last guy came and and I just couldn't find a vein, they were really messed up. Had scars and track marks running along all his veins. when I tried one vein it failed and while pulling the needle out it made a sound like pffffff. As if air was trying to escape his system.  At least I got two.

All in all it was a good day.

Such a complicated little word. A person can tell you they love you then seconds later retract the statement and pronounce to you they are happier without you. Ouch.  What can a lady do?  Cry all day and wish that the person burns in Hades?  No, instead she starts a blog. 

Heartbreaks can do strange things to people. You can send someone 10,000.00 text messages professing your love, or scaring the sh*t out of the person. I just want a little forum where I can speak my thoughts and maybe get some feed back.

The beginning of the end was not so great. As anyone can imagine.  The dreaded day was on the day of my birth. J(name shall be withheld) decided to take my friends and me out for my birthday.  I was excited because this was going to be a surprise and I wanted to see what this guy could cook up.

Well it was nothing great at all. I go inside a lounge that looks a bit trashy, but hey, I am not too picky.  13 of my friends show up.  I was so excited to have all my friends and boyfriend with me. Until I went to the stage and realized that I was in some awful tittie bar.  I am not prude and I have gone to may strip clubs in my life, but on my birthday...COME ON!  I sat there looking at unattractive women come out eating pizza having holes in their panties flash their breast while my now ex-boyfriend drooled over them.  Maybe I am crazy, but did he think it was his birthday?  When I mentioned I wanted to leave he put his hand in my face and said "Don't fucking start." I think a comment I made earlier about this being more for him made him cranky.  Here I am in the middle of all my friends and we are yelling back and forth and I swear that if he touches me my ghetto will come out and I don't care how good he is at kung fu i will kick his ass!

I went home and didn't hear from him for a few days. When we finally talked he said he put his hand in my face because he felt he needed to defend himself and he feels those actions were justified.  I cannot even begin to explain to you that my physique is quiet small and I couldn't beat up a five year old girl let alone a 25 year old man who is trained in martial arts. He also told me that he was happier without me and that he is glad it was over. Never did he apologize for ruining my birthday or his blatant disrespect of invading my space.  Ugh, I was pissed.  But still I miss that a$$hole.

Now this brings me to my original question. What can a lady do when she is heartbroken?  There have been no attempts on his part to contact me. I feel foolish for even wanting him to contact me, but here I am hoping that I get a little something. A sign that he was not all robot and an unemotional weirdo.  he did leave me with these very inspiring words "At least I wasn't a serial killer." I don't know what that means and I am a little scared.

So ladies and gentlemen, help a sister out.  What direction should I go with now? And no, placing a sh*t bomb in his house is not a solution, funny, yes, but not a solution.